I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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