why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
