I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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