At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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