she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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