I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
