bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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