Betty ford says i'm here all night
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
