idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know her cup size but not her name....
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
