it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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