I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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