so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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