I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
