I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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