No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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