those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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