hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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