I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
