from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
