you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
