So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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