I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
