I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
