ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i was born a porn star she said
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
