Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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