Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize