Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
