That's intense
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
