six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
