So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
