i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
