Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
