It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
