jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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