Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
