I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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