she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
