Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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