in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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