had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
