It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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