JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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