guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
