I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We are all done wearing pants today
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
