How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize