Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
