yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
