they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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