WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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