My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
