Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
