I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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