So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
