he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
