Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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