he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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