What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Houston, we have a squirter
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
