the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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