Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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