idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
