She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And then he peed in my hair
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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