ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
birth control should be required to get into college
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
